She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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