I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
