I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
