Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
