Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Is this like a preordered booty call?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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