Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
