Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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