Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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