he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize