I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
