You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
