just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
