dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
