And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
