i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
she smelled like a LAN party
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
