I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
