Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize