Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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