i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
