How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
