It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
