Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
