I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
