I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
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just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
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My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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