with your own penis?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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