It's Friday. Sex?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
