im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
