So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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