You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
