he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
