Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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