I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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