random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
