I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
