YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
