Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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