another moral hangover. fuck.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
