I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
