remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Randomize
