Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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