I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
