I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
