and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just want nice things and good sex
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He did a backflip because drugs
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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