Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
