There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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