Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
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