I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
