Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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