We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
