laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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