guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
