Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
