That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
