i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
