question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
