She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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