I'm gonna have a badass scar
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
