go do what you do best...puke behind churches
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize