paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
