I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
What a dumb baby whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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