Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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